


flowers

by justK



Series: random nct works [9]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Canon Compliant, Flower Symbolism, Jisung's already an adult, M/M, Not Betaed, Smut, Top Park Jisung (NCT), Unprotected Sex, Unrequited Love, another request!, but not really, i think, idk why i always feel like i have to say wrap up kidz, it's a rare pairing, so this is totally valid, vanilla sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:41:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justK/pseuds/justK
Summary: sometimes, just sometimes, you love me too.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Park Jisung
Series: random nct works [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007520
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	flowers

**Author's Note:**

> not a native english speaker, i apologise for any mistake i might have.

people often like to gift flowers without really knowing the meaning behind, most of the time just because they look pretty, similar to the way people often see other people, appearance only, not considering what’s inside, and if Jisung is being honest, the façade was something highly relevant, after all, who doesn’t like to look at something pretty, right? but he thought that wasn’t the main thing to look at, just as he thought gifting a flower just because it looked colourful and smelled nice was rather an insult.

he had been buying flowers for a while now, always at that same flower shop that, in his opinion, sold the best big blossoms, not damaged, always fresh, that possessed the sweetest smell, they also had a great variety, which was great, because having to stick to the same three types of flowers was boring and could never satisfy what he wanted to convey. personally, his favourite flower to give was the sunflower, quite boring, huh? why yes, it was rather common, but unlike other people, he knew the meaning behind and although yellow inspired some sort of hope (he read it in that one gothic book once), he was inclined to agree that sunflowers were, in fact, conveying adoration, in just the exact shade and way he felt towards Donghyuck, honeyed-skin, so very relatable to the warmth sunflowers transmitted. i guess he was some sort of sunflower himself, looking up to his hyung whenever he was near.

it hadn’t taken long after he had met Donghyuck, to like him, that is. Donghyuck was a very lovable person, annoying at times, yes, but it was never the bad kind of annoying, it was one that used to exasperate him but that made it difficult to get irked, because the warm feeling creeping up his chest was like a hot chocolate on a cold winter night, cozy and so home-like, Jisung found himself gravitating towards Donghyuck, despite Jisung not being very fond of skinship. 

they were two years apart, he knew, but that never really stopped Jisung from liking Donghyuck. the maknae of their group was a somewhat cold person, meaning he didn’t show affection very often, but he did feel deeply and he cried at times, that’s probably why he was able to hide what he felt, not that we ever tried to, anyway.

it was really so easy, to come to the practice room and find everyone practising, but only one boy letting out energy abundantly, like a room could be full of people, noisy and cheerful, but it was never as illuminated and lively as it was with Donghyuck’s presence in it. it never took time for anyone, actually, to be fond of the boy and Jisung thought it as natural, never really questioning what he felt inside.

Jisung was the youngest, and so, he was often babied and pampered by, pretty much, everybody. it was uncomfortable at first, but he slowly grew used to it, the only one person that he never disliked touching him being Donghyuck. Donghyuck’s hands were always warm, something he associated with the colour of his skin, as opposed to Jisung’s own, that were either cold or lukewarm, and also his hands used to sweat cold sometimes, Chenle used to make a face whenever they were like that, teasing him, but Donghyuck didn’t say much, he made a comment or two and he laughed once, but it was such a heartwarming laugh, Jisung could just learn to accept his sweaty hands because of that. as he grew up, physical demonstrations of affection became almost unbearable for him, especially Jaemin’s. now, don’t get him wrong, he loved Jaemin, as strange as it might sound, he was really like a motherly figure to him, alongside Jeno, but exactly because of that it tended to become too overwhelming. Donghyuck’s teasing kissy faces and messy hugs his way were also uncomfortable at times, but more often than not, Jisung found himself opening his arms to receive him, grabbing his waist when clingy Donghyuck hung himself loosely from his neck and shoulders like a sloth, only moving his head to the side when a wet baby-like kiss neared his face.

“Jisunggieee-” Donghyuck would sing, trying to distract Jisung from the game he was currently playing.

Jisung shook his head to get a long messy bang out of his eye. “what is it, Hyuck?” he didn’t even look at him, he knew he would lose if he did.

“wow! no hyung, huh?” Jisung rolled his eyes, but he did it quickly because he had to shoot someone on the screen, that’s when Donghyuck landed on his lap.

“hyung!” the youngest exclaimed, moving both his hands to the side to escape Donghyuck’s body and leave them free to use the controller.

“now, that’s more like it,” pearly white teeth contrasting with his tan skin.

Jisung’s nose twitched, resembling a little bunny or cute mouse. “you’re gonna make me lose,” he complained.

“well, that’s what i want!” Donghyuck replied. “i’m visiting you today and you’re not even paying attention!” well, Donghyuck had actually gone to visit everyone, after all, Jisung wasn’t the only one to live there, and that’s what the maknae implied when he squinted towards him. “i’ve already gone to have breakfast with the guys and Chenle is not here, sooo…”

“so nothing, let me finish this round,” Jisung immediately replied.

“rude,” he heard Donghyuck mumble and next thing, he was no longer on his lap. Jisung could have stopped what he was doing right then, because as much as he complains, he actually likes feeling the weight of his hyung’s body on him, the warmth and the possibility of looking at his soft features closely.

suddenly, the screen went black. “what the hell?!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands to the air and turning around to see Donghyuck smiling devilishly. 

“don’t curse,” was the first thing he said, “and you need to be disciplined,” as he left the side of the table to sit next to Jisung more comfortably, he continued to speak. “i can’t believe just because you’re turning twenty next year you no longer care for your manners-”

Jisung was looking at him with an opened mouth and Donghyuck knew, by the way his nose twitched ever the slightest bit, that Jisung was preparing himself to answer.

“you can’t be nagging at me when i’ve heard you use worse words since i was fourteen, you’re just lucky Taeyong-hyung or Doyoung-hyung didn’t catch you as often…”

“they hear me now, don’t worry, and they still yell at me even though they know i won’t listen,” Jisund made a ‘duh’ kind of gesture with his face, that Donghyuck saw and replied to. “and yes, i know, i’m not nagging at you, god, you make me sound so old, i’m just messing with you.” the smile he showed was innocent, one could never imagine he was actually a little devil, Jisung had to shake his head to himself, in disbelief and to keep himself from staring too much. “will you stop loving me when you’re an adult?”

Jisung would have gulped at that, had he not been confident in his acting abilities, or mostly his ability to keep things to himself. “what are you talking about?” he asked instead. 

it were times like this, when Jisung could feel like Donghyuck felt something for him. when Donghyuck would look for him in the dorm and decide to share his afternoon with him alone, or when he asked what he wanted to eat to prepare it himself (he’s a good cook, did you know that?), his food (and also Jaemin’s) tasted so much like home, almost being the only thing Jisung ever knew, having been apart from his family for way too long, it made Jisung feel protected. but what would make him imagine that Donghyuck could, perhaps, love him, was the way he looked at him: big, but not exaggeratedly so, eyes, brown, but such a beautiful shade that would shine amber when a lucky sun ray would hit his iris, with that certain spark that reminded Jisung of the colour of the centre of that one gerbera flower (the ones he had chosen himself almost two years ago to give to Donghyuck after a performance, that he asked a noona to deliver on his behalf, making her promise she wouldn’t say who they were from, she agreed and she only asked why gerbera, to which Jisung replied _cheerfulness_ , and she got it right away), Donghyuck looked at him with care, the way you would look at someone when you were proud, it felt so satisfying, but so distant at the same time. later, he came to find Donghyuck looked at everyone with a different spark, as if he customised his stare for each person, worshipping what he found admirable, remarking what he saw outstanding, making everyone feel special. Jisung admired this from him, but it, strangely, made his heart ache.

“i dunno,” Donghyuck said and Jisung saw his shoulders deflate slightly, but evidently, at that. “i just feel like we’re leaving something very big behind, like a stage of our lives ends with you turning twenty.” his confession made Jisung feel like he was carrying something very heavy on his shoulders.

“well…” he whispered. “i’m sorry, but not much will change, you know that, right, hyung?”

Donghyuck nodded, leaving his head to hang low at the last movement, waiting for brief seconds to then lift his head and look for Jisung’s eyes, Jisung hated to have Donghyuck look at him as much as he loved it, it always made him feel self-aware and fearful of doing something wrong. he saw Donghyuck slowly move his head forward, not breaking eye-contact, directly landing his forehead 0n top of Jisung’s. Jisung flinched.

“c’mon,” Donghyuck grunted. “i’m not going to bite you, you act as if you’ve never been this close to someone.”

Jisung closed his eyes.

“wait,” there was a pause and Jisung refused to open his eyes. “does this mean you’ve never been with anyone?”

now, that was something that Jisung would rather keep to himself, but if you’re willing to know, with this lifestyle of his, the fast pace, the public eye, he had never been able to do even as little as making friends, let alone live a hopeless summer love like any other kid his age, not that he was interested in that.

“oh my god!” Donghyuck exclaimed and Jisung knew something bad was coming his way, he shut his eyes even tighter. “this is what we will do!”

“we?” Jisung asked, interrupting Donghyuck’s excitement.

“shh, listen. before your birthday, you gotta kiss someone, you don’t want to reach your adult life being a prude, do you?” well, Jisung really didn’t care, to be honest. but if he had to kiss someone, he already knew who he would pick. “ush, so boring!” it was like any trace of thoughtful state had been left behind, which Jisung really liked. “we’ll make it a bet, then.”

“but-” Jisung stuttered. “but i don’t wanna do any bet.”

“i’m not asking you to lose your virginity.”

Jisung sighed exasperated. “can’t i just kiss you?” _please?_ “if that’s what will keep you from being loud about this,” _make my dream come true._

Donghyuck blinked and his lips parted just a little, then he shook his head and answered. “i don’t know why i thought you would’ve said yes and go to Chenle.” _iugh, no_. Jisung wouldn’t do that with him. “you could’ve just told me you wanted to kiss me,” Jisung forced himself to mask his erratic heart at the danger of his feelings being uncovered, he opted to arch a brow, a gesture that looked unbelievable good on his refined face, with his high nose and small, plump lips.

“i don’t want you screaming about my non-existent life to anyone else,” he explained. “let’s just do it.”

“what an honour,” Donghyuck faked flatterness. 

it became a habit after that. frequently sneaking into each other’s bedrooms or empty backstage rooms, lonely kitchens or practice rooms. to Jisung it was always the same, in the way they would first press their noses together before tilting their heads to angle just right, feeling fluttering lashes on his cheekbones and tingly huffs of breath on the corner of his mouth, yet, it was somehow different every time. sometimes it would be Donghyuck barging all excited into his room, needing to let off some stamina (that Jisung still didn’t know why wasn’t taken care off with sex, he might be a virgin, but c’mon, he had heard enough to know it was a good way, and before you misunderstand, no, Jisung wasn’t talking about having sex with him, he knew Donghyuck could easily seduce anyone into helping him; still, Jisung felt relieved that he was the chosen one, somehow), he would jump on Jisung’s lying body, making him drop his phone straight on his face, straddling him with his thighs and hurridly burying his nose on Jisung’s soft cheek; some other times, Jisung stayed behind in the pratice room and Donghyuck would return, lifting his chin just the exact way to land a short peck on Jisung’s lips, later saying _‘ew, you’re sweaty’_ and Jisung replying _‘you were no better earlier_ ’; it had also happened that one time Jisung sneaked into the dressing room a gardenia bouquet, acting as surprised as Donghyuck when he found it in front of his chair, _‘why gardenias, though?’_ Jisung would shrug and answer _‘i once read it means secret love’_ the way Donghyuck’s mouth would turn into a small curious o was enough to melt anyone, _‘was it you, Jisunggie?’_ he shook his head at that, rolling his eyes but catching the way Donghyuck came closer, tilting his head and silently asking for Jisung to lay his lips on his, Jisung did, because what else was he supposed to do? _‘no, hyung, c’mon’_.

now that he thought about it, though, Jisung knew he probably shouldn’t have let this happen, because the way he continued to fall deeper, feeling like he was digging his own grave, was unbelievable. it was each time a little more, with those perfectly placed moles all over Donghyuck’s skin (that one on his neck looked so delicious, Jisung hadn’t been able to keep himself from kissing it once); when their eyes met and Donghyuck stuck his tongue out at him, small, pretty and pink; every time Jisung looked at any naked part of Donghyuck’s body when he was getting dressed and ready to perform and when he caught a fortunate glimpse of the sinful lines and curves of his body executing the same steps Jisung did, only differently, with a different approach that suited every song so well. he fell deeper when he heard his extremely loud laugh, teasing and annoying, or when he felt the atmosphere lighten up at his jokes, under his spell. he was in deep, indeed.

it was never serious, and you have to give Jisung some credit for knowing it from the very beginning, for knowing he was never going to be the one, and still thriving in the idea. he ordered yellow chrysanthemum to be left outside Donghyuck’s dorm the day he overheard Renjun whispering in quiet exclamations to Donghyuck.

“the fuck is wrong with you?”

“i thought you would be a little bit more comprehensive and supportive of me,” that was Donghyuck’s whiny voice, but not the happy whiny, it was a weak whiny.

“i am, Donghyuck, i swear i am,” Jisung could almost picture Renjun closing his eyes. “but you all are my friends, i just don’t want anything to affect the group.”

“it won’t, i promise” it sounded sad. “i just needed to get it off my chest and i guess i was expecting to hear you say that i stood a chance, but you slapping my face and kicking me out of this might be useful too.”

Renjun laughed at that, breathy and reluctant. 

“i don’t want to hurt you either, Hyuckie,” the oldest replied. “i just want you to be realistic, and to try not to mess up anything in the team, if it works at the end, fine. but right now, i won’t lie, Jeno and Jaemin are way too happy together, with… whatever it is that they have.”

“i know, and i won’t compete against Jaeminnie,” there was a sigh. “but i don’t want to keep everything to myself, that would also affect us, i will just be very careful.”

“think everything before talking to Jeno about your feelings, please.”

“sure.”

yellow chrysanthemum meant slighted love. he knew Donghyuck was probably using him and it was fine, he just expected to be given something in return. 

he did receive something in return, when, after weeks of Jisung looking from afar how Donghyuck tried to get close to Jeno, only to see his face fall when the door of Jeno’s room closed behind him and Jaemin, it was Jisung who kissed all of Donghyuck’s wrinkles on his furrowed forehead away. to Donghyuck, Jisung didn’t know and they just continued with their strange relationship, Jisung made his decision willingly, though, to offer his heart as a comfortable padding for Donghyuck to fall in. 

“let’s go to an arcade, hyung,” Jisung suggested one day after seeing their two parental figures cuddle on the sofa, knowing that Donghyuck had seen them too, he just wanted to distract Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck lifted his eyes from the screen of his phone to look at him, pretty glow always present. “sure,” he replied. “let’s go.”

he hadn’t even given Jisung time to get ready, he just stood up, slip his hoodie over his head, placed his phone inside his back pocket alongside his wallet and walked to the door. Jisung had to jump inside his jeans in less than three seconds, leaving the house with his phone between his chin and neck as he put on his belt. going out like this always represented a huge risk, but it was also when they were at peace the most, without anyone knowing where they were at. 

it was a cold day, since autumn was at its peak and winter was rapidly approaching, so it didn’t come as a surprise that Jisung’s nose turned red immediately, the contrast being more visible on his white skin as Donghyuck laughed at him calling him something akin to rudolph the red nosed reindeer, to which Jisung replied he was more mature than him, despite being younger by almost two years. 

“you’ll see, little bastard,” Jisung snorted at that. “i’ll beat you at every single game.”

Jisung let him believe it, because Donghyuck was good and even if he wasn’t, Jisung’s heart would always want to give him what he wanted, even sometimes against his cold-like nature, and he, someway, wasn’t ashamed of that.

“next time we should probably go to a bar,” Donghyuck advised, it’ll be nice, Jisung thought. “once you’re twenty, it’s the first thing we’ll do, or at least get wasted at the dorm. 

“you truly are thirsty, huh?” Jisung asked without expecting an answer, munching on his popcorn, he stopped his movement, hand full of popcorn, ready to be shoved into his mouth, but not completing the motion. Donghyuck was smiling at him.

“you can’t even imagine,” that had sounded somehow more suggestive than Jisung would like to admit, but he ended up accepting that Donghyuck had implied something not so pg when he was shoved inside a bathroom stall and cornered against the wall, with Donghyuck all over him, probably using him once again, but if being used felt like this, Jisung had nothing to complain about, accepting Donghyuck’s soft lips and sucking on them, sliding his tongue against his and curling it up to rub against the roof of his mouth, stealing sweet sighs out of his hyung. 

“i think that one is occupied,” Jisung bit hard on Donghyuck’s lips at the sound of a voice outside.

“it has been for a while now.”

“i’ll call someone to check.”

Donghyuck was covering his mouth with his hand, wincing at the slight pain, looking dead on Jisung’s own smaller eyes, who looked panicked, to say the least.

“we need to get out,” Jisung whispered, starting to move to go out.

“don’t you want to get caught?” Donghyuck asked in a teasing tone, Jisung looked over his shoulder to squint at him in that adorable way of his.

“i don’t think this exhibitionism thing you have is healthy, hyung,” he opened the door and peeked his head like a puppy to look outside. “they’re gone, we should probably go.”

a big delphinium bouquet appeared outside Jisung’s dorm the next day, beautifully wrapped in white paper, Jisung had had it delivered there to not make it too obvious by sending it to Donghyuck’s. Jeno was the one to pick it from the floor and volunteer to take it to the addressee.

Donghyuck came back to Jisung’s room that night, because staying with the hyungs seemed to much and he couldn’t possibly go to Jaemin, he decided he didn’t want to bother Renjun with his problems either, he had thought about going to Chenle, away from everything, but Chenle was probably with his family and coming in unannounced was too rude. Jeno told him he would stay with Doyoung, because he was considerate like that.

“what happened?”

Donghyuck sniffled into his hoodie, his eyes were red and his nose too. Jisung just let him sit next to him on his bed and patiently waited for him to speak.

“i had told him before that i liked him, but just because i wanted to get it off my chest, i have never been good at not showing the affection i feel,” Jisung knew that very well. Donghyuck was one to love loudly, and so he could never be caged. “i told him that i truly didn't want anything in return, much less ruin anything, i wouldn't risk anything of what we've worked for, nor would i interfere between him and Jaemin, he told me they weren't together, but i know there's still something going on,” he let his head fall and Jisung felt a drowning sensation creep up his throat. “but Jeno is too good for his own good, he could never hurt anyone, so he came to me asking me to date, i told him no, because i knew he was just forcing himself to like me not to hurt me, so i just left.”

what Jisung did all night was just check that Donghyuck was fine, he ordered some takeout, he lend Donghyuck warm clothes and he let him fall asleep on his chest, Jisung followed at least two hours after, by extending his arm to reach the lamp on his nightstand to turn it off, because the subtle lighting only distracted him, hushing away any need to sleep, Donghyuck’s sleeping face and calm state dragging him under a spell. he could count the moles and his lashes, brushing his finger along Donghyuck’s eyebrows in a cute attempt to comb them. and when he woke up, it was to Donghyuck still lying on top of his chest, awake, breathing peacefully and blinking every other time as he traced invisible figures all over Jisung’s belly, the sunlight hit him on the face and he glowed so incredibly much, it was as if he had bathed in highlighter. 

Jisung took him out to get some ice cream that he made Donghyuck pay for, despite the older’s whines, complaining about him being the one recently heartbroken. but Jisung made up for it by taking him to his favourite flower shop, watching Donghyuck roam around asking about a baby cactus he had seen, while Jisung bought a daffodil bouquet. 

“this is quite sad, don’t you think?” the lady helping him on the counter asked. Jisung had to look away from Donghyuck.

“hmm? pardon me?” 

“the flowers you chose, they’re beautiful, but sad.”

“oh,” he exclaimed, placing his hands inside his pockets. “well, i know, but i only ever gift what i feel and suits the situation or the person best.” it was true, to Jisung, flowers were more than just a present or decoration, it was a form of communication and it felt quite good to be one of the few people who got the meaning behind, just as he felt satisfied to absorb Donghyuck’s essence the way not many did, appreciating his beauty, admiring his personality and following his lead, because Donghyuck was born to lead, to be the centre of everyone’s attention, due to how much light and energy he had inside, like a powerhouse of an entire nation, obtaining his own vigor from people’s existence, because that was Donghyuck, he just needed to know people existed to love them, like he had never loved anyone before, deeming humanity as a whole, the best thing to project all of his affection, in the form of a laugh, a joke, his undivided attention, the teasing jokes, a kind gesture… 

“i hope it can soon become a red rose, the one you’re willing to give.”

Jisung nodded and thanked the lady for her help and good wishes.

“who are they for?” Donghyuck asked as they walked outside the store. “they are really pretty, i like the colour.”

“really?” Jisung stopped in his tracks. “that’s good, then, because they’re for you.”

Donghyuck looked from the flowers up to Jisung’s face and back to the flowers, slowly extending his arms to take them, Jisung let go of them easily, taking in the sight of Donghyuck hugging the bouquet close to his chest. “thank you,” he said, and it was so serious, so genuine and deep, Jisung couldn't decipher his tone, but it felt so satisfactory, he decided there was nothing to understand, other than Donghyuck was there with him, and he often was after that day.

not everything was peaceful all the time, because despite Donghyuck having stopped Jeno from whatever, they were still very dumb young adults and they had to mess up one way or another. Jisung was sure he never wanted to live as his hyungs did. so, when they one night had decided to get drunk, Jisung excused himself immediately and only came out when he heard yelling outside. having to take care of a drunk, crying Donghyuck was something he never wanted to repeat, he could probably deal with a drunk Donghyuck, but not a crying one, or both. 

when the bottle had landed on both, Jeno and Donghyuck, and it had been their turn to kiss, everything was fine, until Donghyuck, being drunk, followed Jeno to the kitchen, latching onto him, and making Jaemin, who had been walking into the kitchen as well, walk away, Jeno followed him and some sort of discussion had arisen. Donghyuck had panicked and fallen onto his knees asking Jaemin for forgiveness, which he didn’t get, because Jaemin said there was nothing to forgive, still Donghyuck left the living room and fell into Jisung’s arms.

“where do these flowers keep coming from?” Donghyuck asked the next morning, puffy face and looking very tiny in oversized clothes. Jisung looked up from his cereal and saw Donghyuck bury his nose in the sweet smell coming from the red camellia between tanned fingers. “they are different every time.”

Jisung downplayed it, only saying that all of the bouquets he had seen Donghyuck receive were really nice and that he was lucky.

“who would even like me?”

Jisung looked deadpanned at him. “seriously,” he said, Donghyuck was taking a seat next to him, nott letting go of his flowers. “who wouldn’t, hyung?”

he should have known he had given himself away if he had looked at Donghyuck right then, but he didn’t, and he didn’t think about his words either, but he did think something was odd, when one day, probably a couple weeks after that day, he came back to his room to find daisies on his nightstand, then he found white carnations backstage one day, and since he didn’t think they were for him, he just let it slip.

“you’re about to be an adult,” he heard Donghyuck said. “you ready for tomorrow?” he asked and Jisung immediately shook his head.

“god, no,” he answered and he stuck his tongue out. “it smells so disgusting, i don’t get why you like it.”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “c’mon, it’s a must, so you gotta be ready.”

it wasn’t like Jisung had any other option, he had to open the door resignedly the next day, letting all of his dream members come in carrying bags of food and alcohol, Renjun trailing behind with some white roses in his hands. “don’t even look at me,” he had excused himself. “it was a unanimous decision.”

Jisung didn’t give it a second thought, though, happily receiving every present and reluctantly downing every drink shoved his way, his nose would scrunch up everytime he felt the burning sensation down his throat. “no, i don’t like it.”

he ended up tipsy, anyway, or, okay, not tipsy, very drunk. and then Jeno had to carry him to his bed, Donghyuck offered to be the one to look after him.

“don’t ever-” he hiccuped, “-make me do this ever again.” he tripped with his own feet in his attempt to stand up, Donghyuck had to gently push him down by placing a hand on his chest.

“but you’re too cute, Jisunggie,” he defended. “i think it’s adorable every time your nose twitches,” his nose did it again, it sometimes had a life of its own, moving under, especially, situations he didn’t appreciate. “see?”

Jisung’s eyes were unfocused and he just felt dizzy, but he still had it in him to shake his head to deny his words. “oh, please,” he dragged the words. “i’m not cute.”

Donghyuck didn’t fight him, he focused, instead, on helping Jisung to get rid of the uncomfortable jeans and put on a soft pajama bottom, laying his head next to Jisung’s on the pillow.

by tracing the lines of his face and caressing Jisung's nose very lightly, Jisung closed his eyes, seemingly falling asleep, he still let out some very lazy sounding words out of his mouth. “thank you, hyung,” he had said, some syllables almost unintelligible. “it was a wonderful day.”

“you said you didn’t like it, though?” Donghyuck teased as Jisung cuddled close to him.

“i mean, it was wonderful because of you.”

i think Jisung didn’t remember everything he had done that night, but he does remember that Donghyuck was there all along, even after that, to the point it became confusing, with Donghyuck staying behind to keep him company and help him with the things he had to catch up with, by sneaking out of his room and into the other dorm at night or finishing all his schedules as fast as possible to go back to where Jisung was supposed to be resting… Jisung had to ask if everything was alright at some point.

that time came rather soon, when everyone was going out and only Donghyuck stayed behind with him.

“why are you doing this?” he asked.

Donghyuck stopped pulling out the appetisers he had brought to look at him. “doing what?” it sounded genuinely clueless, so Jisung couldn’t have sighed at him the way he wanted to.

“this,” he signaled. “staying behind, rushing your schedules, spending so much time with me…” his hyung turned around to give him his full attention.

“because i want to, Jisunggie,” was his reply. that didn’t really answer anything, though.

“you’re giving me no answer, hyung.”

Donghyuck sighed loudly. “i don’t know,” Jisung couldn’t be more disappointed, but he kept his mouth shut, _remember having this is better than not having him at all_ , he told himself.

and that’s what he kept telling himself all night, as Donghyuck kissed him long and passionate, tangling his tongue with Jisung’s, in a way Jisung already knew by heart, he knew exactly where to lick or where to suck harder to steal whiny whimpers out of Donghyuck’s pretty mouth. “we shouldn’t do this,” Jisung tried to reason, anyone could come back at any moment or they could just ruin their friendship and that was a risk Jisung was not willing to take. but Donghyuck only replied with a low _‘who cares’_ , before pushing Jisung onto the mattress, climbing on top of him and driving Jisung the exact way he wanted to. it worked, because Jisung was undressing Donghyuck on his own, pulling his shirt over Donghyuck’s head until his naked torso shined deliciously, it looked like caramel and Jisung wanted to taste all of it.

it was easy, he found out, letting himself be worshipped and worshipping Donghyuck in return, kissing his jawline and biting his neck, his collarbone, chest and thighs; letting his hands be guided by Donghyuck’s more experienced ones towards his chest, where Jisung had to discover how to drive Donghyuck mad, experimenting with his tongue, sucking his nipples like a baby and kneading at the curve of Donghyuck’s waist, near the line of his obliques, toned just the exact same way Jisung found beautiful.

“let me show you,” Donghyuck spoke, dragging Jisung up his body to make him flip positions, snaking all the way down to Jisung’s pelvis, only covered by his underwear. pulling his tongue out, he licked the fabric, feeling the length twitch and Jisung hold in his breath. “you surely have touched yourself before, haven’t you?” 

Jisung nodded. “yes, but this is so much different.”

Donghyuck hummed and he got rid of the last piece of clothing on Jisung’s body, immediately wrapping his hand around the circumference of the thick shaft, stroking languidly, preparing Jisung for the feeling of his mouth around him, Jisung could never mentalise himself enough, he still had to fight against all his instincts not to thrust up Donghyuck’s throat, not succeeding, because he still move his pelvis, making Donghyuck moan around him, feeling his tongue flattening against him and hollowing his cheeks. Jisung could black out from this.

“shit,” he had to hiss. “how is it that you still look so pretty?” it was visible, even under the lonely yellow light from the lamp, that Donghyuck blushed at the comment, slowly moving away. “fuck, i can’t,” Jisung thrashed his head on the pillows. “i won’t last if you keep going.”

“it’s fine,” Donghyuck said, “we can always go for more next time.”

 _next time._ Jisung felt like he had ascended.

“tell me what to do for you, instead,” Jisung asked, sitting up on the bed and dragging Donghyuck in for a kiss. he felt him nod, before feeling him stand up to take something out of his bag. Jisung took the small bottle in his hands while looking questioningly at Donghyuck. “what-”

“come, big boy,” he crawled onto the bed until he reached the pillows to loger his chest down, remaining on his knees and forearms.

“you planned this?” Jisung wondered in disbelief.

“well, not planned,” he wiggled his butt and Jisung lost himself. “i just hoped for it. now, come and fuck me with your fingers already.”

he was demanding, Jisung was starting to notice, but he still was patient, waiting for Jisung to warm up to him and the situation. he did as he was told, bathing his long, long fingers and slowly pushing them inside, first one, until he felt Donghyuck relax enough, then adding up the second.

Jisung had many questions that he knew was better not to ask, but he couldn’t keep his mind from wondering who did Donghyuck lose his own virginity to? had it been with a girl or with a boy? a member or a stranger? Donghyuck’s broken moan snapped him out of his thoughts.

“ah, ah,” Jisung saw him let his head fall between his shoulders. “fuck, your fingers are so long, it feels so good.” it was pride that Donghyuck was feeding in Jisung. “please, fuck me, please.” 

now, Jisung didn't know a lot, but he felt confident, and when Donghyuck almost yelled _‘put your dancer hips to good use, already’_ , Jisung did, holding Donghyuck's hips still as he slowly buried himself to the hilt, asking any mighty being for strength, because when he felt Donghyuck's ass clench, he had almost come. 

“you're so tight,” he said, breathless. “damn, it feels good,” he rested his head between the older's shoulder blades, still waiting for any signal. 

Donghyuck pushed his butt back, letting out a long, desperate moan. “Jisung, please, move,” he begged, “don't hold back.” 

could he ever go against Donghyuck's wishes? 

Jisung rearranged his grip on Donghyuck's waist, admiring how tiny it looked, contrasting with his ass, the position only highlighting it and the carved lines of his back, the dimples on the bottom of his spine. then, he trusted at a steady pace, slow at first, mainly testing himself, finding it easier each time to just let his dick be attracted to Donghyuck's tight heat like gravity. soon, it was not enough. 

“turn around, please,” Jisung asked, pulling out and watching Donghyuck comply right away, opening his legs, and he looked so, _so_ sinful, Jisung knew he was going to hell after that night, but he didn't mind. 

“i can't believe i'm the first one experiencing this,” Donghyuck whispered, having issues breathing. “you're quite a treasure, aren't you?” Jisung angled one particular thrust and it had Donghyuck screaming out his name. “Jisung! yes! like that please, don't stop.” 

“Hyuck…” it was so hard, truly, but he kept pushing his orgasm back to please Donghyuck first. “good?” he wanted confirmation. 

“sooo goood,” Jisung kissed him dumb again, until Donghyuck could no longer speak, letting out tiny whimpers and sobs, Jisung was sure he could never listen to anything more bewitching in his life. “cum,” he murmured. “i'm gonna-uh, fuck-” 

Jisung continued to fuck into him as Donghyuck's dick released white ribbons that landed on both their tummies and chest. Jisung never stopped looking at him, at his fucked out expression and sweaty skin, flushed cheeks and swollen lips, his pupils were so dilated, they looked incredibly dark, but his orbs were looking up at Jisung in a way he bad never seen Donghyuck look at anyone ever before, that's what ended up triggering his own climax. 

“thanks, Jisunggie,” Donghyuck said after, naked and only covered with the duvet. 

“for what?” 

“for giving me this very important part of you.” 

he could never understand what happened that night, as he could never understand many things. but he decided it was not necessary to, when the next day, after he woke up alone in his bed, he went out to buy one more bunch of flowers that he expected Donghyuck to accept, hoping their relationship wasn't ruined, only to come back to find him waiting for him, sitting on his bed with a modest valerian bouquet that contrasted strongly with Jisung's red tulips. 

valerian. 

“i'm ready,” Donghyuck said, no more explanation, but it wasn't necessary, Jisung understood. 

**Author's Note:**

> i really was thinking this was going to be 3k maximum, it somehow turned out to be longer, but i feel quite satisfied, so y'all let me know if you agree or nay


End file.
